Tuesday, March 26, 2013



Yesterday, on the Bringing Up Squid Facebook page, I posted the the following:

 Whenever we are out in public and someone makes a comment about Squid's future boyfriends or husband, we always make sure to say, "Or girlfriend or wife." We've received some strange looks, some laughter, and some mild chiding... "Oh, don't say things like that. You're going to want grandkids some day."
I don't care where on the Kinsey scale Squid's sexual orientation falls. I want her to be in a happy, healthy relationship. Or to find happiness on her own. But, should she choose to marry some day, I hope that it is a legally binding marriage that bestows all the rights and responsibilities a couple deserves.

I'm working today, but keeping on eye on what's going on in Washington as the Supreme Court is hearing the Prop 8 case. My heart is with all these people, especially the families whose legal status is in limbo, waiting for 9 people to make a decision that will have such a deep impact on them.

When I was still nursing Squid, I spent an way too many hours watching TV. It seemed that most of my day was spent watching Netflix. To make myself feel better about watching so much television, I started watching documentaries. One of those documentaries was For the Bible Tells Me So, a film that interviews five Christian families who have a homosexual child.

One of the mothers disowned her daughter when she came out. Her daughter ended up committing suicide. I sat there, holding my newborn little girl, trying to imagine any scenario that would cause me to disown her. I couldn't imagine telling my daughter that she was not part of the family simply because she loved differently than I did. I sat and rocked her with tears streaming down my face. I'm sure hormones played a part, but I was truly shaken by the words the mother had written to her own daughter.

Granted, I am a liberal with many LGBT friends. I have grown up around gays and lesbians and transgendered folk. And Squid will grow up around many same-sexed couples, seeing that love has no boundaries. Maybe she will find love with another man. Maybe another woman. Maybe both or neither. But I do want her to know that she is loved and accepted for who she is, by her immediate family and by her extended family of people who love her simply because they know her. 

I really do hope that by the time she is considering marriage, we will be over this archaic nonsense defining marriage by sexual organs. I know that I am doing my best to do my part.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Geekiness, Level II - ACHIEVED!

Previously, I have blogged about our evening ritual. Every night, before bed, Squid and the parent du jour (or would that be parent du nuit?) snuggle and watch an episode of Star Trek. We've been doing this for a little over a year now, nearly every night. I don't think either of us had realized how much of an impact this ritual has on our little girl.

She hums along with the theme song, too!

In addition, we watch ASL signing videos with her, teaching her some simple signs to make communication with a toddler less stressful. These are wonderful videos, with fun songs. She absolutely loves them and has picked up quite a vocabulary.

Trust me. There's a reason I mention the signing.

The last couple of days, in the evening, she has decided that we are too slow and not getting the nighttime ritual going early enough for her. Squid goes to her room, pulls a blanket and a pacifier through the bars on her crib, drags them to the living room, and climbs up into the recliner. If we have not gotten the hint by then, she makes the ASL sign for "stars". And hands us the remote. "Stars". Remote for turning on the tv. Must be time for Star Trek. Now, if we could only teach her to differentiate which series she wants to watch.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Night of the Living Parents

I mean to post more. But it's been a stressful, hectic time in the Ivey household. We've been working overtime, juggling schedules because of babysitting issues, dealing with minor illnesses, and dealing with general toddlerhood.

To make it all so much more fun, Squid has decided sleep is for sissies. We're not exactly sure what the issue is, but she wakes up like clockwork at 1 a.m. and again at 5 a.m. nearly every morning. It may be the molars that are taking their sweet fricking time coming in. It might be a cold. It could be all the thinking she's doing, learning so much every day at such a rapid rate.

Whatever it is, she wakes up screaming bloody murder and won't fall asleep unless we're holding her. Needless to say, nobody's sleeping much.

So, one of us gets up and rocks her back to sleep, often falling asleep as well. We have tried a variety of methods to get her to sleep and stay asleep. I even asked the doctor about melatonin (she said no). Nothing works. She wants to be held.

A friend remarked on how she really doesn't miss those days with her children. And I don't blame her. But....

As tired as I am, as much as I would love a full night's sleep, as aggravated as I get that I have the one child who can't sleep through the night at nearly two.... there's a moment of bliss when she quiets down as soon as I lift her from the crib. When she wraps her arms around my neck and snuggles against me, as if Mommy is the only one who can drive the demons away and make everything better. When she so easily falls asleep in my arms, yet wakes up the instant she senses I am putting her back in her crib.

I'm not going to pretend that I am as enlightened at 1 a.m. I'm generally tired and often a bit crabby. But, I do try to remember that this is temporary, that one day I won't have a baby who needs mommy or daddy snuggles to fall asleep. That, if I do my job right, one day she will barely need me at all.

So, I pray that these damn teeth come in soon, that this physical or mental growth spurt passes quickly without incident, that tonight is the night she decides to sleep straight through. But, if I am awake at 1 a.m., rocking a whimpering baby, I hope to cherish that one moment of peace that comes in the still of the night.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Still alive

I know... I've been quiet this past week. I've been working some overtime and the plague visited our home for a few days. I am forever indebted to Aunt Kris for letting Squid spend the night one night so I could get some rest. Now, I am trying my best to get caught up on life, so the blog has had to sit on the backburner.

Squid has not slowed down, however. She's as active and goofy as always. The "terrible twos" are in full force already. She has lost pretty much all of her limited vocabulary, save the word "NO!"

This morning, she was playing with one of her phones (an antiquated BlackBerry with the battery and memory removed). She was chattering away when she handed Daddy the phone. Dutiful Daddy answered the phone, just like anyone does when handed a phone by a toddler.

"Hello? Oh, hi. Yes, this is Squid's daddy. I just got off work and I'm spending some time with Mommy and Squid before I head off to bed. Yes, Squid is right here. Let me get her."

He holds out the phone to a waiting Squid and says, "Do you want to talk to your friend?" She looks at him, looks at the phone, shakes her head and says, matter-of-factly, "No." Then walks away.

Moments later she was babbling excitedly into the phone, presumably to another "friend", cattily complaining about the loser friend who keeps calling at all hours and can't take a hint.


The Bringing Up Squid FaceBook page now has 50 likes! We'll be running a giveaway for a ThinkGeek gift certificate. You know you want one. Check out the page for details, which will be posted as soon as I can get them there!